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duality

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

Ethereal. That is how I feel. Like I’m living two lives, walking two worlds, all at the same time.
How difficult it is to put into words. This…duality.

I feel almost insubstantial. Drifting between two realities, half of me in one, half in the other, never complete, never truly whole.

Which one is the true reality?

I am fading, dissolving into a shade of wishes, what-ifs, and what-might-have-beens, dwindling into a mass of sundered dreams and shattered hopes. And when time comes to claim me, all that is left of me will vanish into the silence that lurks behind every soul.

Until when shall I give in to this two-fold existence? Would you argue that I am clearing a path into madness? Would you understand if I said that it is this very duality that has kept my hold on sanity? Would you believe that when one cannot find refuge from loneliness, the lure of dreams becomes a drug, and words like these are mere residues of a dream-infested high?

Hahaha. Well, I don’t really care much. Personal exorcisms are just that - personal. My demons may not be the same as yours. Vanquishing them may take a while.

Until then, I shall bridge these two worlds, scrambling freely from one end to the other, here one moment, there the next, like some diaphanous deity who comes down from her palace in the sky to frolic in the sands of the earth, just for a little while.

Until I can finally find my place among the stars, blissful in the arms of Night.

Until then.

Posted by panyang at 1:12 am | permalink | Add comment

July 2008
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a fresh start

i figured it was time for new beginnings. the old asylum was getting rather crowded, what with three years worth of lamentations.

so i have moved to a new home, a spankin' new asyLuM. if you miss the old one, you can still read my laments of yore here.

welcome, then.

the amazing tag cloud

leave a footprint

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